Gabby Asleep At Home
Psalm 130:1-2 – Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
Today I gained a whole new understanding of the Psalmists lament to God for mercy. I also gained an understanding of needing to write down my grief, just as the Psalmist wrote his years ago. As you can tell from Shannon’s earlier entry, today has been a day of both joy and sadness. Today was the close of one chapter in our lives while another one was started.
This morning marked the first morning Halle-Grace woke in her home. It has been a long wait, over two years in the making. What a blessing to finally see our adoption process come to fruition. Unfortunately, today marked the end of Gabby’s time in our worldly lives. After a week long hard-fought battle Gabby left us today to go on home to Heaven and wait for us there. I have never hurt as deeply as I am now. It IS from the depths I cry out to God and it will only be through His grace that we make it through.
Although I miss my “shadow” so bad I feel like I am about to suffocate, I have to remember, Gabby was never mine. I did not create her. I can take no credit for her character, demeanor and behavior. She was God’s handiwork. She was His creation and as such I was simply a steward of her life on earth. God chose to wonderfully bless my life with seven amazing years as her daddy. And even though this past week I pleaded for more time, I had to remind myself of how much less meaningful my life would have been without God allowing me the time with her that I had. Of course it is human nature to want more and more, but God did me the favor by blessing me with the time I had. I am grateful for the priceless memories that I will forever cherish.
Others have asked me before, “Do pets go to heaven?” And although there are no passages in the Bible that speak specific to this matter I personally believe we do know enough of God’s character and initial plan and design to be able to answer this question. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and all that was upon it, and He saw that it was good. God cares enough about the birds of the sky to make sure they have a home. And there are references to the lion and lamb lying beside each other in the New Jerusalem. For me, that is sufficient, God loves all his creation and animals WILL be in heaven. We are told that he withholds no good blessings to those he loves, and I have already mentioned how much of a blessing Gabby is to me. Take with that, that no eye has seen, no ear has heard nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him,and I think it almost becomes absurd to even doubt that something so precious and loving as Gabby would NOT be in heaven. To be honest, Gabby has been the most perfect example of God’s unwavering total love for us. I think the better question is, “Where did she hide her wings while she was here?”
Now, some will say, but animals don’t have souls, therefore they will not be in heaven. Well, to that I say that theologically speaking angels do not have souls either but we ARE told they are and will be in heaven, so, the matter is settled. Gabby is already there and will be waiting on me to get the laser out when I finally make the journey.
My emotions have run the gambit today. But I have found piece in a recent conversation with a very close friend of mine, Joe Westfall. Joe, the pastor at Mt. Pleasant United Methodist recently told me of the overwhelming grief, at times, he experiences as a pastor. Dealing with all kinds of tragedy and loss of his parishioners can be daunting at best and incapacitating at worse. However, as Joe put it, he finds comfort in knowing this is NOT the end of the story.
Chapter, maybe, but not the end of the story. And as one chapter closes and another begins I try and take a lesson from God. Halle-Grace, like Gabby, does not belong to me. True, she has been entrusted to me, but she belongs to God and I am just the steward with the responsibility to do the best I can and love her, care for her and teach her as I think he would do. We are not promised a tomorrow, but we are promised an eternity. Prior to Gabby’s initial diagnosis with AIHA I took her life for granted. But I can honestly say that for the past year, every day I gave God thanks for the gift of her life and the blessing it bestowed on me. I am forever grateful.
Recently I read the book “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite author’s. As a master of allegory he eloquently states my opinion of pets in the afterlife. In this book a gentlemen has died and has gone purgatory and is meeting people from heaven and hell and trying to make sense of it all. He is being guided by, and able to ask questions of, his guiding angel. The following is an exert from that book and is a detail of his meeting of one lady in particular:
“Is it?…is it? I whispered to my guide.
‘Not at all,’ he said. ‘It is someone you have never heard of. Her name is Sarah Smith and she lived at Golder’s Green.’
‘She seems to be…well, a person of particular importance?’
‘Yes, she is one of the great ones. You have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.’
‘And who are these gigantic people…look! The are like emeralds…who are dancing and throwing flowers before her.’
‘Haven’t you read your Milton? “A thousand liveried angels lackey her?”
‘And who are all these young men and women on each side?’
‘They are her sons and daughters.’
‘She must have had a very large family sir.’
‘Every young man or boy that met her became her son-even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.’
‘Isn’t that a bit hard on their own parents?’
‘No. There are those that steal other’s people’s children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.’
‘And how…but hello! What are all these animals? A cat-two cats-dozens of cats. And all these dogs…why, I can’t count them all. And the birds. And the horses.’
‘They are her beasts.’
‘Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.’
‘Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them. It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.’
May the infinite love of God for his creation sustain Gabby through all eternity.
October 1, 2008. The earth is a little less of a place and even heaven has been improved.
Gabby, we love you.
HALLE-GRACE ARRIVES HOME FROM VIETNAM...(photos from airport coming soon, they were not taken with mama's camera) Below are photos from CVS (Carolina Vet. Specialists) after our Homecoming surprise at the airport, we went immediately to see Gabby. The staff is so amazing! Halle-Grace was able to see Gabby while Shannon was taking Gabby for a walk. She recognized Gabby from the webcam and grunted at her trying to get her attention:)
The staff at CVS are "angels" for all of their love and what they do is a calling...it has to be! They tried to do everything possible to make Gabby well but it was not God's plan.
The Angels at CVS! We love you all! Thanks for EVERYTHING!
The sign they made for Shannon & Halle-Grace
Halle-Grace flying home from Vietnam
Halle-Grace's first time in her car seat. She did well...as long as daddy was blowing the horn (reminded her of all of the motor bikes in her birth country).
