Of all the times to begin, this may not make any sense to anyone else as I am suffering greatly right now from jet lag and lovesickness. At this exact moment I am not sure which of the two is more acute. Both are incapacitating however the latter will linger longer than the former and as such is the more unbearable.
Let me start by saying this, being a father is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have heard it said before, “Once you become a parent you will wonder ‘what have I been doing with my life to this point?’” Ok, for all you people who have said this before, I have a recommendation. If you really want people to believe what you are saying, then to repeat this phrase without vehemently shaking the person listening while screaming it to the top of your lungs, then you are not communicating with the appropriate enthusiasm!!! WOW, this is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me!!!!!
If you have ever watched any Disney cartoon and seen the sparkles that follow the little fairy around while the opening credits are running…well I USED to think those things were make-believe. I have met a little girl that seems to have fairy dust trailing her everywhere she goes and falling from everything she touches, my heart not-with-standing.
And to think I almost delayed the magic. I have to be honest and say that the morning of the actual GNR ceremony was trying for me. I slept little the night prior worrying if Shannon and I were doing the right thing. I knew getting our daughter out of the orphanage was the right thing to do. I just could not stop worrying about the potential “what ifs” of possibly being stuck in a foreign country for upwards of two years, losing employment and more importantly health-care for my daughter and thinking maybe just waiting out the process before adopting her was the most prudent decision to make. I prayed, cried, made last minute phone calls all in search for reassurance and affirmation we were making the right decision AT THE RIGHT TIME. Well, God answered my prayers and gave me peace literally within two hours of our scheduled time to meet our liaison to travel to Tuyen Quang and adopt Halle-Grace. I now look back and shudder at the possibility of missing out on the greatest blessing ever. Thankfully, that did not happen. Rather, I have not only become a proud, card-carrying member of the obnoxious “My child is the greatest” club, I have performed a coup d’état and am now self-proclaimed el Presidente of the club!!!
Seriously, I know I am going to get on people’s nerves. And I know how arrogant I already am when it comes to Halle-Grace. Not only do I believe that no other parent loves their own child/ren as much as I love Halle-Grace, once they meet her, THEY won’t love their child/ren as much as they love Halle-Grace. She is that lovable, adorable (insert whatever affectionate word you want at this point!) If I could bottle and sell this feeling I am sure I would be imprisoned for trafficking the most potent intoxicating drug ever.
However, as ‘high’ as I have felt for the past two weeks, I will say that two days ago was a tough day. If you know me, you know that I love to fly, but having to board a flight for the US while my family remained in Vietnam was nauseating. I am back in the US now, but the churning in my stomach has only subsided by moving to my heart. Not to wish my life away but I am counting the moments, not days, until this process is completed or Wanda’s time in Vietnam is up, whichever comes quicker. For, if for some reason our application has not been approved before the time for Wanda to come home then I am flying back over to Vietnam. If today, the first full day away from Halle-Grace and Shannon is any indication, the next two weeks is going to crawl by. Being a kid waiting on Christmas seems like living in ‘fast-forward’ compared to this waiting….
One last thing, and this is not meant to be facetious. I used to jokingly tell people that Shannon and I were pursuing adoption because we were afraid to have children naturally because they may come out looking like me and acting like Shannon. Well, during the multiple trips downtown while in Hanoi many people would come up, while I was holding Halle-Grace, and say how much she looked like me. (I know what you are thinking, don’t flatter yourself Jason) But people would say that…apparently she and I have similar features. AND, the little beauty is one more ‘ham’. She loves attention and has a magnetic personality that just draws you in…much like her mother. What I am trying to say is, God is a wonderful god. AND he has one more sense of humor. How else could we go literally to the other side of the world and adopt a child that looks like me and acts like Shannon!!!! Talk about affirmation!
For the sake of not dividing my first blog attempt into chapters I will leave it at this for now. But, in closing, let me say, “Thank you” for all the prayers, calls, emails, letters and love you all have showered us with during the course of this process. Some have been humorous, some touching, some sustaining, but they all have been loving and we can’t thank you enough for that.
I cannot wait to actually introduce you all to the most beautiful girl in the world in the coming weeks. Just plan ahead and bring your sunglasses because that glare being emitted anywhere Halle-Grace goes is coming from the beaming smile of her love-drunk father!
Jason
